Wherever you are, be there. Totally.

See if you can catch yourself complaining, in either speech or thought, about a situation you find yourself in, what other people say or do, your surroundings, your life situation, even the weather. To complain is always non-acceptance of what IS. It invariably carries an unconscious negative charge. When you complain, you make yourself into a victim. When you speak out, you are in power. So change the situation by taking action or by speaking out if necessary or possible; leave the situation or accept it. All else is madness.

Ordinary unconsciousness is always linked in some way with the denial of the NOW. The NOW, of course, also implies the HERE. Are you resisting your HERE and NOW? Some people would always rather be somewhere else. Their “here” is never good enough. Through self-observation, find out if that is the case in your life. Wherever you are, be there totally. If you find your here and now intolerable and it makes you unhappy, you have three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it totally. If you want to take responsibility for your life, you must choose one of these three options, and you must choose now. Then, accept the consequences. No excuses. No negativity. No psychic pollution. Keep you inner space clear.

If you take any action – leaving or changing your situation – drop the negativity first, if at all possible. Action arising out of insight into what is required is more effective than action arising out of negativity.

Any action is often better than no action, especially if you have been stuck in an unhappy situation for a long time. If it is a mistake, at least you learn something, in which case it’s no longer a mistake. If you remain stuck, you learn nothing. Is fear preventing you from taking action? Acknowledge the fear, watch it, take your attention into it, be fully present with it. Doing so cuts the link between the fear and you thinking. DON’T LET THE FEAR RISE UP INTO YOUR MIND. Use the power of NOW. Fear cannot prevail against it.

If there is truly nothing that you can do to change your HERE and NOW, and you can’t remove yourself from the situation, then accept your HERE and NOW totally by dropping all inner resistance. The false, unhappy self that loves feeling miserable, resentful or sorry for itself can then no longer survive. This is called surrender. Surrender is not weakness. There is great strength in it. Only a surrendered person has spiritual power. Through surrender, you will be free internally of the situation. You may then find that the situation changes without any effort on your part. In any case, you are free.

Or is there something that you “should” be doing but are not doing it? Get up and do it now. Alternatively, completely accept your inactivity, laziness, or passivity at the moment, if that is your choice. Go into if fully. Enjoy it. Be as lazy or as inactive as you can. If you go into if fully and consciously, you will soon come out of it. Or maybe you won’t. Either way, there is no inner conflict, no resistance, no negativity.

Are you stressed? Are you so busy getting to the future that the present is reduced to a means of getting there? Stress is caused by being “here” but wanting to be “there”, or being in the present but wanting to be in the future. It’s a split that tears you apart inside. To create and live with such an inner split is insane. The fact that everyone else is doing it doesn’t make it any less insane. If you have to, you can move fast, work fast, or even run, without projection yourself into the future and without resenting the present. As you move, work, run – do it totally. Enjoy the flow of energy, the high energy of THAT moment. Now you are no longer stressed, no longer splitting yourself in two. Just moving, running, working – and enjoying it. Or you can drop the whole thing and sit on a park bench. But when you do, watch your mind. It may say “You should be working. You are wasting time” Observe the mind, smile at it.

Does the past take up a great deal of your attention? Do you frequently talk and think about it, either positively or negatively? The great things that you have achieved, your adventures, or experiences, or your victim story and the dreadful things that were done to you, or maybe what you did to someone else? Are your thought processes creating guilt, pride, resentment, anger, regret or self-pity? Then you are not only reinforcing a false sense of self but also helping to accelerate your body’s aging process by creating an accumulation of past in your psyche. Verify this for yourself by observing those around you who have a strong tendency to hold on to the past.

Die to the past every moment. You don’t need it. Only refer to it when it is absolutely relevant to the present. Feel the power of this moment of the fullness of Being. Feel your presence.

- An excerpt from: The Power of Now, by Eckhart Toll

Don't, don't.

Heard of don’t-ing? I bet you do it, don’t you?

The act of don’t-ing is describing an action you want carried out, in the way you do not want it done. Make sense? No.

Let’s give it a try, shall we?

Now, don’t think about the fact that you are driving down a 6 lane highway. Don’t think about the 3 lanes going each way, and the nature strip in the middle.

Don’t think about that!

Now, don’t think about the palm trees in the middle of the nature strip, shading the grass, stop it, don’t think about that! Did I mention the highway had 6 lanes, 3 each side? No, don’t think about that.

Don’t see the yellow car, driving down the middle lane on the left hand side, bright yellow car. And PLEASE, don’t see the elephant that is driving.

DON’T!

Without re-reading any of the above, how much of it you can remember? Most of it? All of it? I told you, DON’T think about it! Why does it happen? Another example, first.

Little Johnny is up a ladder, the following events unfold:

Dad: “Johnny, don’t jump!”

Johnny: *jumps*

Dad: “otherwise you’ll hurt yourself!”

Johnny: *midway in flight, realises he wasn’t supposed to jump*

Johnny: *hits the ground, hurt*

Dad: “I told you, you’d hurt yourself!”

What happened?

Dad told Johnny what he didn’t want him to do. Johnny heard the action, what he thought he should do. Johnny obeyed his Dad. On the way down, Johnny then realised he got it wrong, and also realised he might hurt himself. When he did hurt himself, his Dad told him that would happen. Johnny feels stupid, hurt and disobedient.

Why doesn’t anyone listen to me?!

Well, your brain is wired to hear the action first, not the consequence. So if you tell someone not to do something by using don’t-ing, the first thing they will hear, is what you do not want done, then the brain processes the don’t, and realises you want the opposite of the action you described.

Spend some time listening to others, and notice how often directions are given by using don’t-ing. When you hear an example of don't-ing, try to think of a way to ask for the same thing, describing what you actually want done:

Don’t shout – Speak in a quieter voice, please

Don’t touch, it’s hot – keep your hands away, it’s hot

Don’t talk with your mouthful – wait until you’ve finished your mouthful, then you can talk

Dig it?

When you give direction to someone, tell them what you want done, rather than what you don't, the result might surprise you.